Idea thief is workplace's worst villain

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A character (in the workplace) worth bashing to a pulp is the idea thief. To this type of creature, I reserve my vast arsenal of verbal ammunition as befits the fury of an employee scorned, an unleashing for which hell perhaps hath none to match.

The idea thief is usually someone in power or at least someone near the place or person of power. He or she is a walking hallucination, a testament to the fact that a little absolute power corrupts just as absolutely.

Brainstorming sessions and power meetings are the ideal turf of the idea thief. The thief is in his or her element when fishing for novel ideas cooked up in brains other than his or hers.

One employee I know was aghast at the temerity of this type of creature because the stealing of ideas was perpetrated at the most casual of conversations. On the pretext of asking her subordinate’s opinion on an office project, it dawned on this creature that someone else’s idea was brighter than hers and it could be of good use. Conferring with the big bosses by email, the creature soon passed off the idea as all hers, hers, hers.

The higher-ups, understandably, were rightfully amazed at the ingenuity of this woman who came up with a fantastic idea they had never thought of before. “Maybe she deserves a raise, a promotion, or...a tour of the USA?”

They could have meant “foxy” and “shrewd,” even “scheming.” But “ingenious”? As expected, credit was given where it was NOT due. Next day would see the creature preening in a self-congratulatory pat on the back even as the idea’s originator was bristling in anger, feeling violated, even profaned. Meanwhile the horde of silent witnesses were fuming mad at the audacity of the idea thief; they were toying with the twin idea of cold-blooded murder and mass resignation.

It could be that the creature had roughly the same idea beforehand, which she chose not to express. Then why didn’t she exclaim, “I had that same idea!”, and acknowledge the person just the same?

It could also be that the idea thief was afraid that her subordinates might be discovered to be better in a particular task than her and she might lose her job. But isn’t it a good management credo to be glad that you got the best staff at your beck and call? It may only be a matter of time before they take over your job, but who knows? That job may be better suited to them in the first place, and you, as senior officer, are better suited to move on to another and hopefully something better.

Idea thieves are among those who give the corporate jungle its reputation of being just that – an Amazon rainforest. Their social decorum is impaired, their sense of right and wrong infirm, and it's awful that I am being politically correct. They’re most probably the insecure types who grew up being belittled by mom and dad and the dog that when they grew up they couldn’t help but prove themselves by hook or by crook, even at the expense of the more deserving.

It is but rightful to shun them and withdraw from them all manner of affection, even affectation. Wait… What they deserve are just that -- affectations of honor and respect, plus a personal taste of the adage, “It’s lonely at the top.” Then again, decent people don’t do such a thing as giving somebody a dose of his or her own medicine, and in the same exact dosage, too.

Nevertheless, idea plagiarists bring out the inner wildebeest in a wronged employee, no matter the glamour of the work location, no matter how high up one is situated in the corporate hierarchy, and notwithstanding all the natty Italian suit and leather, the French perfume and the Wharton MBA. In this kind of world, cutting edge technology takes on another meaning, one synonymous to deadly weaponry. With corporate sharks like this, you cannot help but regard the corporate world sometimes as a culture about as sophisticated as that of an herd of gnus in the African veldt.

If there’s one idea I wish idea thieves would steal, it is this: the idea of a conscience that knows what’s wrong and what’s right.

11.23.2001