Discovering your primary 'love language'

You will be presented with 30 pairs of statements. Read each pair with this question in mind: Which of these would I prefer to receive from the significant people in my life (my siblings, parents or friends)? You may enjoy both expressions of love, but if you could only have one, which would you choose?

To simplify the questionnaire, the term "friends" is used to refer to the significant people in your life. After you have made your choice, circle the letter at the end of the statement. Be sure to circle only one letter for each set of statements.


I like to receive notes of affirmation from my friends. A
I like it when my friends hug me or embrace me. E

I like to spend one-to-one time with my friends. B
I feel loved when my friends give practical help to me. D

I like it when my friends give me gifts. C
I like taking long walks with my friends. B

I feel loved when my friends do things to help me. D
I feel loved when my friends touch (pat me on my shoulder, embrace of hug) me. E

I feel loved when my friends hold me in their arms. C
I feel loved when I receive a gift from my friends. E

I like to go places with my friends. B
I like to hold hands with my friends. E

Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me. C
I feel loved when my friends affirm me. A

I like to sit close to my friends. E
I like my friends to tell me I am attractive/handsome. A

I like to spend time with my friends. B
I like to receive little gifts from my friends. C

Words of acceptance are important to me. A
I know my friends love me when they help me. D

I like to do things together with my friends. B
I like the kind words my friends say to me. A

What my friends do affects me more than what they say. D
I feel whole when I am hugged. E

I value praise and try to avoid criticism. A
Several inexpensive gifts from my friends mean more to me than one large gift. C

I feel close when my friends and I are talking or doing something together. B
I feel closer to my friends when they touch (pat) me often. E

I like my friends to compliment my achievements. A
I know my friends love me when they do things for me that they don’t enjoy doing. D

I like my friends to touch me when they walk by. B
I like it when my friends listen to me sympathetically. E

I feel loved when my friends help me with my work. C
I really enjoy receiving gifts from my friends. D

I like my friends to compliment my appearance. A
I feel loved when they take time to understand my feelings. B

I feel secure when they pat me on the back or touch me. E
Acts of service make me feel loved. D

I appreciate the many things my friends do for me. C
I like receiving gifts that my friends make. D

I really enjoy the feeling I get when my friends give me their undivided attention. B
I really enjoy the feeling I get when my friends do some acts of service for me. D

I feel loved when my friends celebrate my birthday with meaningful words (written or spoken). A
I feel loved when they celebrate my birthday with a gift. C

I feel loved when my friends help me out with my work. D
I know they are thinking of me when they give me a gift. C

I appreciate it when my friends listen patiently and don’t interrupt me. B
I appreciate it when they remember special days with a gift. C


I like to know my friends are concerned enough to help with my daily tasks. D
I enjoy extended trips with my friends. B

A peck, a buzz or a kiss is a sign of affection for me. D
Receiving a gift for no special occasion excites me. C

I like to be told that my friends appreciate me. A
I like for them to look at me when we are talking. B

Gifts are always special to me. C
I feel good when my friends touch me or hug me. E

I feel loved when my friends enthusiastically do some tasks I have requested. D
I feel loved when they tell me how much they appreciate me. A

I need to be touched (hugged, embraced) every day. E
I need words of affirmation daily. A



Final instruction: Count the number of times you have encircled each of the five letters. The total for the 5 categories should be 30.

A. Words of Affirmation
B. Quality Time
C. Receiving Gifts
D. Acts of Service
E. Physical Touch